Mrs. Roper, Tattoos & Kramercore

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Happy Saturday, Gen X. 👋🏻

You guys! This is the best thing we’ve come across in a long time: Mrs. Roper-themed bar crawls. From the looks of it, groups of Gen Xers are dressing up as the permed, caftan-wearing 70s TV icon and hitting the town. This thread over on Reddit suggests that it becomes a national holiday.

We. Are. In.

****

In today’s issue:

• 🪦 RIP, local mall

• 💰 Important student loan repayment info

• 🍿 Which movie year was the best?

^{ONE GEN X THING}

Malls Are Dying Off

Yet another piece of Americana is dying off — and this one is near and dear to Gen X hearts.

The local mall, once the gathering place of choice for teens with nothing better to do on the weekend, is in serious decline across the country. It’s been a long time coming, of course, with the rise of online retailers like Amazon and the decrease in foot traffic due to the fact that almost anything can be delivered to your front door. COVID didn’t help.

Brands like Sears and Macy’s, which once served as the all-important anchor stores, are long gone from most malls. With online sales going gangbusters, it’s hard for them to justify having brick and mortar stores.

It gets worse: Of the malls that do remain, many may be forced to close due to over $14 billion of loans coming due in the next 12 months. In this economy, it’s hard to be a mall.

HOWEVER ….

This meme, my friends. It’s on to something.

*****

BONUS STORY: The best characters from Gen X films.

^PRE-TIREMENT

Headlines

• If you’re 10 years from retirement, here are 10 things you can do right now to prepare for your golden years.

• It’s estimated that 1.4 million Gen Xers are still paying off college loans. If that’s you, here’s everything you need to know about the new student loan repayment plan.

• 1 in 5 Americans have an inactive 401(k) account somewhere out there. Check out this advice if you think you’re one of them.

And a Chart

*****

BONUS STORY: The states you want to avoid for retirement.

^{LATCHKEY POLL RESULTS FOR THE WEEK OF AUGUST 5, 2023}

Did They Make You Square Dance in PE?

We asked you last week if you were forced to do square dancing in PE. To our shock, more than 20% of you somehow escaped having to hold the sweaty hand of your least favorite classmate whilst promenading.

Here are the cold, hard numbers.

Did They Make You Square Dance in PE?

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Ugh, yes. (23)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Whew, no. (6)

29 Votes

Latchkey readers chimed in:

• “I had fun with it even though the boys hated it.”

• “Definitely most hated activity, I can still hear the awful music announcer saying swing your partner, do-si-do. But what made this even more horrible were the awful snap-up, one piece blue gym uniforms that we had to wear. Suffocating in the New Orleans humidity.”

• “Worst part was when - after it was over - Billy would ask if this meant that now we were "together"... Mondo "Ugh"!”

Indeed.

^{YOU MAKE THE CALL}

Best Year for Movies: 1990s Version

This is where we separate Gen X from the millennials. Choose carefully.

What we want to know this week is:

^{… AND THE REST}

• Geezers Getting Inked: A tattoo artist reveals the #1 most popular tattoo style for people over 50. There are also some tips for those who want to get inked in their later years.

• Music/TV: A new Paramount+ docu-series, I Wanna Rock: The ‘80s Metal Dream, tells the backstories of three big haired rockers from the 80s. Says one of those rockers: “Being a rockstar is fucking amazing. I did not get enough of that.“

• iPhone: It’s that time again — a new iPhone is on the way. One problem, though: There are a fewer older models that may be losing Apple support. Probably a good idea to see if you have one of those models.

• Nirvana: Dave Grohl reveals the one line from a Nirvana song that gives him chills. Interesting.

• Seinfeld: This summer’s hottest fashion trend? Dressing like Kramer. They’re calling it “Kramercore.”

• Hollywood: Matthew Broderick says his 40 year movie career can be summed up in two words. Sounds about right.

• MTV: Did a SoulAsylum video from the 90s really save 21 missing kids? We did not know about this!

• And finally …: It’s not just us! We were thrilled to discover that we’re not the only ones who have pushed up our dinnertime in recent years. And it’s not because we’re old … we’re definitely not.

Milestones. August 12, 1981: IBM introduces its first PC (PC & PC-DOS version 1.0). || August 14, 1995: "Battle of Brit Pop" begins as rival bands Oasis and Blur release singles on the same day. || August 17, 1998: Bill Clinton admits to an "improper physical relationship" with Monica Lewinsky.

^{FROM THE GEN X MEMORY VAULT}

Tasty Memes and Memories

^{WEEKLY EAR WORM}

“(I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You” by UB40

Thirty years ago this week, we were rocking (reggae-ing?) out to UB40’s cover of “(I Can’t Help") Falling in Love.” The song was their first single from their 1993 album, Promises and Lies. It was released on May 10th and climbed to number 1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, where it stayed for an impressive seven weeks.

UB40’s cover is good and all, but it’s hard to beat the King.

That’s it for this week’s Latchkey! If you have any feedback, we’d love to hear from you! Just reply to this email and unload.

Otherwise, we’ll see you back here next Saturday.

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